trainspotting

slept all day today. shamo is here. and i am smoking one million cigarettes again. one day soon i'll quit. when i'd have a cogent reason to quit. when that day comes, i'll only eat veggies like kamote and subsist on espresso and two-legged creatures. no more processed meat for me. and that will not come soon. ha!

i wish some people would just go away. kepoy ang opinions. or i wish the shadows and the monsters at the back of my mind would just go away and i would just imagine them to be non-entities. haaaaaaaaaaay. then again the people you meet and had been attached to are those who make up who you are.

on God: He had been silent and distant and maybe I couldn't feel Him being there because i never make it to church or do not read my Bible with a huge butterfly on the moleskin cover and i do not make time for quiet time and read my devotional. then He made bawi while almost falling asleep, a thought crossed me that in the midst of things what's important is Him and me and He is really alive that's why I am alive too. i'm not making sense i know but, i cannot aptly word the assurance of His presence in my life today. maybe kaya siguro destitutes and homeless continue to live on and carry on with their lives in the daily unknown cuz a God is actually looking after them despite their lack. and whatever it is that i lacked in my life, i.e. tumagagingting na yaman and being or looking cool and in the scene will not equate to Him who i have.

;p

will take calls. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

i should stop swearing. i think i will end up with a coke endorsement (and marlboro red too) cuz i've been having them at work the whole time.

i love you keken and kairi.

leaving with a neruda:

so close that your hand on my chest is my hand

so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep

even his name is poetry. ;p

stole above image from lelove