So far where I've been

If I had just hung on, would things be different now? I feel so miserable, like there's a lump in my throat that would not go away. Even crying wouldn't help. I've been questioning myself the past three days that if I did not choose to be such a good girl and would've stuck it out on being out there, free- not reined in a relationship, would I be happier? I hate having to have feelings that would make me say, I wish I could take everything back. And I wish I just waited. Things could've changed for me.