grey skies

i hate all that has been happening. it's a shithole from the skies. when will all the shitting stop? i am sorry my family has ever gotten him involved in all these mess. i, dich, shobe, do not deserve the shit hole we are in. falling on a shitty pisshole. falling and falling. and only one person deserved to be there. and that would not be me or my siblings.. none of us; cuz we didn't choose to be here in the first place. it's them who should be thinking why we are all trapped in this mess. i am soooo mad at everything right now. -- The truth remains In midnight conversations I asked for this moment But you turned away Sad like a lonely child -- weekend, was a disaster as well. (we were at kubo then to time out then home we went cuz we broke into a fight- not the happiest of a saturday night, when you actually spent the whole saturday morning crying your eyes out, then you in turn became happy cuz you got you a pair of pink shoes, new ones. respect. and in the evening, you and the boy who turns the whole city upside down don't listen too well and thinks of you in some shitty ways. spell disaster.) am wondering til when will both our lives will become intertwined? will this city be kind to both of us? or will we work our differences out by the number of the days we spend growing into each other? -- this, prolly is the unhappiest week i've had in my life. or it would be an understatement to ask for a life-altering experience, cuz my siblings' and my life had been totally totally reconstructed in such a way that i no longer could recognize home. -- i am falling apart. after all these, i am only certain that all i have in the world would still be love for both of my sisters no matter how shitty things are. gawd. i haven't faced the soapbox & look at me. i do not have the appetite for real food. first stop the uber hot sisig-pork from kubo was the worst i've had. it's crap. that i had my tongue burnt or my taste buds popping out and my lip puffed out too.. [and that kinda started saturday afternoon when we had late lunch at shakey's.] then wut's crappier would be my low sense of self esteem, plus the fact that i have my jaw hurting cuz my supposed cold sore isn't cold sore after all. it's swollen gum. i hated seeing the dentist. i have low self esteem. i ate a pint of choclit icecream today. and a bar of twin popsies. orange. and had all the teas i can have. and yes, miko and i got ourselves fresh fruits. mango. haha. so much for non apetit. :) -- i told miko that one day if we do have grandkids i'll tell them i was hawt when we were younger. and he would be the loser guy that only i would ever give a second glance to. ha. :) ending in a song.. and i've nice pink shoes. respect. :D And you asked me what I want this year And I try to make this kind and clear Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days Cause I don't need boxes wrapped in strings And designer love and empty things Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days