my my

joey felt bad that i could not see her off for oz. if things called understanding, i wish they understood that i've bills. i haven't seen my grandmother & my father in a year or so.. if friendship requires understanding, i wish that friends just wish each other well & don't put blame. friendship is a comfortable silence, i hope they all see that. -- today, i'm supposed to cut the strings with angelo.. but, he kept his promise.. i could not bear see him cry.. i've never seen anyone soo certain of me..maybe only fools have pride.. only fools don't forgive..only fools do not go on.. this i am learning each day in this city.. i have the hugest fever. my whole body is in pain and felt warm and my feet were cold.. and my joints were bad and my skin felt parched.. gingerly, i pulled myself out of the bed. in my head, it'll be two days before weekend. it'll be perfect.. -- gawd, this week had been a tearfest.. -- one of the technician's husband died. they're a young couple. i've been telling gelo how lucky/blessed we were cuz we have the same jobs, same accounts, same place to go home to, and to sleep to.. how can we just look past thru that? in a city where you can see soo many old couples sharing a meal at mcdonald's, holding hands, running around the lagoon in a saturday or sunday morning, i wonder how God can take away some young gal's husband. -- "If you have to cry, he said, and sometimes you can't help it, if you have to cry, cry afterwards, never during! Remember this. Unless you're with those who love you, only those who love you, and in that case you're already lucky, for there are never many who love you--if you're with them, you can cry during. Otherwise you cry afterwards." "here is where we meet" by john berger