raenbow bright is not too bright..

one thing i don't need is any more apologies i got sorry greetin me at my front door you can keep yrs i dont know what to do wit em they dont open doors or bring the sun back they don't make me happy or get a mornin paper didnt nobody stop usin my tears to wash cars cuz a sorry When the Rainbow Is Enuf, Ntozake Shange there, if mowgli would say he was ever sorry again. had another huge tear fest and verbal sparring with mark last night. w/c i think got me some answers despite the fact that i now don't like britney that much even if she got her abs back and she dances well.. and am not making real sense on this post.. at least i now know that he is as confused as i am and i can hurl my confusion at him. and that both of us now uses you got me wrapped around your little finger.. and if he calls me a mosquito or a leech, he is a cock roach.. and i hate him.. and that he should quit yelling on sms to which he replies with he can yell whenever he wants and that his daily happiness is my fault, his burnt pizza for dinner is my fault and that he thought the coffee bean gal is his The One and thinks i am possibly the One.. i can't be the one, i wanna be the Zero.. i wanna be size zero not size one or two.. and yeah. if i became his The One, i would've been The One after the coffee legend girl- so that makes me The One point One.. altho, this i did not tell him.. i was just half relieved that he told me his "next time i'll tell you" thingy.. i told him i am not a kissing booth(swiped from janrae) and that i cared about him and when he cared about me and misses me he should've asked me to go with him to the game.. he tells me he thought i need to rest and we can just catch a movie some time.. i told him to say things and not assume that i get it cuz it's tough to read between the lines.. ..at the end of the night, i felt terrible (and that's like after reading daniel- am halfway thru the book of daniel and in trying to see his character w/c shed light on my awful disposition last night) and told him i am sorely sorry and that i'm singing the second part of amazing grace for gunyt.. and in the end i realized that even if i wanna get too close i still don't want to risk it- not only will i hurt in the end but i might wind up hurting him too.. i told him am praying that He protects him from someone like me.. talk about uber oa na drama. he once told me we fight like we were lovers.. and i kinda wanna barf at the thought.. again am going back to daniel.. (cookie and i went to church and it's the last series of original pinoy mindset and i liked everything from last sunday altho my heart wasn't really prepared for service.. or wasn't in place when it started.. and then amazing grace dissolved me into tears.. i was hoping they were crocodile tears cuz the lady seated next to me was in a sobfest and maybe nakigaya lang ko.. but, NOT.. cuz well i prayed for forgiveness and the song was blatantly telling me that God forgives and the lyrics glared forgiveness.. ) thoughts on daniel: daniel chapter one or two ata wrote that daniel was one of the exiles in babylon, but he pleased God cuz even the littlest things such as food and wine did not defile him. he was always excellent in his ways and that he always did what was right.. anyway, the moral of daniel's character/story is that DOING RIGHT HONORS GOD.. hindi puede ang puede na yan, what God wanted would be our best.. so with mowgli and the fact that we are both guilty of wanting to be too close might in the end compromise our relationship with our God.. and i don't want to compromise Him if ever i'd have another relationship cuz it'll be worst to sin with a Christian compared to sinning with an unbeliever.. and yeah. i told gelo i love him when we were texting sunday.. he tells me he still loved me and i almost cartwheeled with glee when he still called me babe and asked me to relocate to makati.. sighs.. ayan. on sunday, i also met cookies' kiddies.. bloomingdale and katrini thumbelini.. adorable. i want my clones too. today, went out with dich. we bought fast food, kfc, and food shopping in sm.. one of the best things i learned so far is that we can buy deep fried cashew nuts on the streets of downtown.. dichee's status: marital woes and joblessness. at times i wonder whether money is the be all and end all of everything. stanza they sung on vcf: (their version i guess) freedom from chains Christ my savior has ransomed me His mercies flood like rain unending love, AMAZING GRACE.. don't ask me why the tears.