the ego has landed. sadly face down.

totally burnt out with boredom and aimlessness i would not like to make mowgli accountable for my day to day drama and insipidity and being totally shamelessly insecure. i hate perfect girls now. oh they're not perfect but my perfect guy thinks they are. so it's fine to murder them with loathing. even though i only know of plum sykes as the most current literature, i believe that charlie dunlain slash little earl is mine the moment i lose mowgli. -- and yeah i think the mowgli and me situation can be summed up to(me quoting this line from allthings beautiful.com) THE QUICKEST WAY TO ENDING A WAR IS TO LOSE IT. i'm simply too exhausted to think about the over emotional tirades of dramatic retorts to mowgli in order to keep myself from hurting cuz without this whole friendship thingy that is slowly eating me by the day, i feel like an amputee missing her cut-off leg.. so i guess, i am left altho inexplicably insecure about some tiny size 0 girl who lives in a family empire of coffee beans and in an old building and has a future with kangaroos and koalas in oz, it's less tiring to accept the friendship that goes around mushy sms although this has greatly dwindled the past couplah days.. i will take joe's suggestion that i owe some bank a huge amount of pesoses and buy a ticket from some unknown website and take myself to the united states cuz i have the papers, the relatives, the friends who can make me crash into their homes and help me find semi-glamorous jobs like waiting tables and babysitting for like 3 months and am back to PI feeling a bit better about my ego. footnotes: still on the coffee and being a Christian daily diet with nazel. i am dwindling with urban decay of occassional backstabbing and la-iting as well. but, kevs. if we can keep this up, it'll do us well. -- “Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!”I never swear, but when I do I really mean it.Ooh, that felt really good. I collapsed on the floor in a horrible moody huff in the manner of Courtney Love. A tear rolled down my cheek and hit my lip. I hate tantrums, I really do. They’re great fun at the beginning but they invariably end badly. Bergdorf Blondes. my pet sin is still a pet sin. it's like the jack russell that i could imagine i'd have when i go back to the states this year- that is if i could gather the courage to be in debt, travel half way around the world alone, and live with relatives. That is. osi: i'm told am to do us101 for hello moto. i hope so. i earnestly tearfully pray so. and yeah. if this goes on i might find my tush sitting here for the next 3 years or maybe take malyn's suggestion to be in teletech doing real work.. how?