tres bummed

been reading the bergdorf blondes and realized that even when i am asleep i would fall into the nyc princesses mode. even the way i reason myself into quitting being a quaker and leaving the village and mowgli is totally front row girls' kinda logic. (FRG).. it's creepy that i dream the characters that i read about. maybe i should learn to act like them in real life too. saturday, after breakfast at the hotel with janrae and nazel, i slept all day upset and tired and wanton over crying and being hysterically beyond OA and hurt. i missed my small group. :( sunday: felt better that we were texting again and that i kinda apologized and me and nazel caught tanging ina nyong lahat in sm. got me this tres fab dark brown pashmina that i wore over my head like how verlaine should be wearing something like it over her head and learnt that the best way to draw attention to myself is not thru my hair but the thang that i'd place on my hair. and so i couldn't order pepperoni pizza because i looked halal. messy expensive date with nazel. we better just have Bible studies at bob's. no weekend dates wutsoever. i missed mark big time. told him about the ateneo jacket. and how i painted me one. my life's a bit hard and oa and over dramatic these days and boring and gawd, i wish i can do osaka with christian or maybe run. i am trying yoga again. when am not too strained or too lazy.. i hafta practice loving the family first. it's tough love. and yeah, i have two shame attacks today: one with someone telling me why i dint keep the bangs and i must've spent something on it and second, realizing my samantha jones' ilovemyself more sms is way beyond logical. some days you just wanna sing disco inferno or heartbreak hotel or burn baby burn. God is still steadfast. A woman who has never been beautiful has never been young, but a woman who has never been loved has never lived.. The stars seems closer in the Indies, more numerous, more brilliant than in our hemisphere, and the moon, instead of weakening their light, seems to reinforce it with its own...If the sun is made of fire, the moon is made of gold... The wind also lends a magic to the night...From the flowers it receives a thousand heady scents as they surrender their perfumes to the breeze.. The Last Cavalier