oh spare me..

Lewis Carroll's Through The Looking Glass "....You know very well you're not real.""I am real!" said Alice, and began to cry."You won't make yourself a bit realer by crying," Tweedledee remarked: "there's nothing to cry about.""If I wasn't real," Alice sad - half-laughing through her tears, it all seemed so ridiculous - "I shouldn't be able to cry.""I hope you don't suppose those are real tears?" gahd, alice- a crybaby is love.. maybe i should try to change my devotional and buy another.. streams in the dessert is drasticaly unamusing and sorrowful and talks about Christian suffering more than anything else.. and last night i woke up in the middle of my sleep, so i thought i'd pick up the devotional and read that some reasons why we are not neccessarily happy with our prayers are because of the answers to our prayers.. if we pray for patience or pray to be loving, then we are sent difficult people to deal with to test our patience and be more loving even to those who are seemingly unloveable, if we pray to be faithful, money seems to dwindle, illnesses seem to take toll on us, and so on.. and i wind up praying that i be filthy rich and just happy.. :) IMd gelo today who is absent from his last day at work- we in turn libakked ppl.. he told me he hates the panget managers from work.. they looked so morena and panget and buki.. especially one gal.. told him i hate them as well.. haha.. at last we agreed on one thing.. told him i don't have kabayo kid friends, i now have tikbalang friends.. we are tikbalangs not kabayo.. nazel and i are tikbalang.. in english, unicorns.. hahaha, pataka.. meeting with my department with free breakfast is nice but, i honestly want God to take this witch out of the circle of trust and burn her at the stakes. then again, ipises in life are inevitable. i feel sorry for her, she's so insecure cuz i am young, and knows better. and i don't have mouths to feed and my kigul doesn't sag at all.. it's that time of the month and pms was easy, i hardly noticed that i've gone thru it.. it's just that i know i don't have to be pikon when people say makapikon things now that i actually have mowgli who stretches my patience to bits cuz i love him to pieces, kaso lang i just wish God would lemme not share the same air with them panget people who are either maniacally insecure, poorly- dressed, and just poor. i did not grow up poor, so i don't like people with poor culture- can't blame me.. people like these morena people clearly grew up with salt and sardines that's why they hate me.. gawd. nainit lang gyd ko today. ang gusto ko lang mangyari ai sana humabol sila sa mga celebrants for the first of november.. is that too much?